If you have followed me for a period of time, coached with me, or even met in IRL, for that matter, you will have heard me use the words “Belief Structures.”
Yet, it remains the part of my job that either scares the shit out of people or intimidates them because they just don’t understand it. So I thought I would break it down for you. Kind of explain it to you, in standard Lana-ism stories. Stories that keep bringing people back to this blog, although the reasons why that is still remain foreign to me lol
Growing up, my dad farmed. (Well ok, my dad still farms, we just aren’t around to daily witness it, anymore) Harvest was a crazy, busy time of the year around our house. Dad worked long late hours chasing wheat in the fields, while my mom packed the lunches and prepped the meals.
(On a side note: I can still to this day, make a mean farmer worthy sandwich like nobody’s business, but because this isn’t a resume for a diner job, I will spare you the details)
My dad and the team of men were pretty clear on suppertime requirements. It had to consist of three things:
- It had to happen promptly at 6pm
- It had to be a strong meal with meat, potatoes, and a vegetable (salad was ok, but not always appreciated)
- Dessert was strongly encouraged
Because the nearest grocery store that had “fair prices” was an hour away our pantry was fully stocked each week with ANY possible meal requirement to sustain these hungry men.
As a result of the grocery store distance, my mom used to keep Jello pudding in the pantry because it had a long expiry date, it was to ONLY be used during a harvest lack of dessert emergency. It was a dessert she could dress up with whip cream. TADA! Magical!
We knew the Jello Pudding packages were off limits. We didn’t ask for them. They were for grumpy harvest men emergency dessert. It became a strong belief structure in our home.
The first year I moved out on my own, I proudly went grocery shopping for the first time. Stocking my cupboard with all the household requirements I remembered from back home; WHITE bread, Miracle Whip, not mayo, etc. I purchased all the products we used at home, and then triumphantly included THE JELLO PUDDING in my initial purchase.
The Jello Pudding was placed on the shelf, to sit and wait for an adequate
The sacred pudding even made the move from my lowly apartment to mine and Dons first house. Still untouched. Waiting.
Five years later, Don and I are packing for our next house. As we packed items into boxes, the Jello Pudding was removed from its spot in the pantry. It had officially expired.
And that’s when Don says to me “Ummm, we had Jello Pudding, why didn’t we eat it, that stuff is AWESOME!”
I pluck it from his hand, throughly annoyed and “remind” him of the rule he couldn’t possible know, “Jello is for EMERGENCIES”
He laughs, big huge rolling laughs. And then asks “And what kind of emergency will you be solving with Jello Pudding?”
There it was! I started laughing too! But I also realized, I didn’t need the Jello Pudding. I didn’t have dessert emergencies. This was something I just lived and learned. But I didn’t need it! I lived FIVE minutes from any grocery store. If an emergency ever popped up, I could pop out and pick up whatever I needed.
THIS is an example of a belief structure. Something you are taught at a young age, and then just continue on with. You don’t question it, or evaluate if it’s effective in your world.
You don’t think to, it’s just engrained in you and you do it. Without ever realizing it could be different
One of my jobs as an Empowerment Life Coach is to assist my clients in creating the life of their dreams. And how I do that is by assisting them in noticing the belief structures they carry.
Now, even though my Jello story was harmless and didn’t effect my life negatively. The truth is, we all carry structures that are blocking us from moving forward. Which have much stronger influences in our lives and futures, we just can’t see it!
Sometimes we want to create something different than how we are raised, but we can’t do that with old belief structures of our parents, now can we?
Even if you grew up in a fabulous childhood, for example, we all still come out with something we want to do differently than how we were raised. Its human nature to want more and create more. And there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. And I will wager a guess, your parents want that for you, as well.
Holding onto old belief structures, would be like having an old barn on your property. You decide you want a new barn, a NEW and IMPROVE barn, but yet you reuse the original wood from the old barn.
When you’re done building it you will soon realize, this barn will not exactly be the NEW and IMPROVED version you were looking for.
Our lives are like that.
If you want more money than you did growing up, you can’t go around quoting Grandpa Joe by telling people “Money doesn’t grow on trees, it takes hard work at a job you hate!”
Living within those belief structures will only keep you in old patterns.
Belief structures are super hard to spot because 98.73% of them we don’t even know we have. Much like the Jello story, we just do it, until someone points out we don’t have to do that!
(This is where life coaches are helpful, I’m just sayin lol)
What are some belief structures you have in your house? Things you do just because you were taught that way? Do you need it? Do you want it? Does it serve you for what you are creating? Allow yourself the freedom to “throw out the Jello Pudding”
Thank you for sharing in my journey. If you like this post, please share it.