Recently I decided to get some photos done of JUST ME!
I have always been dedicated when it came to getting a family photo session done. I always threw out my best “business grin” and felt mediocre safety within the ability to hide my flaws behind a well placed child.
For the duration of my spiritual healing journey I have been working on loving me. But THIS year was the year that I started putting some major power behind it.
This year following my scheduled family photo session our photographer, Linell Grudnitzki did not hide her disappointment well when I requested “just ONE personal head shot for myself” done within our family session.
Linell doesn’t have a problem doing a headshot during family photos I would assume.
She just really, really felt in her heart that I NEEDED a personal session of my very own.
I personally struggled with agreeing to a session for a couple reasons:
First, there would only be me. No kids to hide behind. No husband to make me laugh. Just me.
Second, I couldn’t justify spending that money for pictures when I didn’t really have a “need” for photos.
Everything changed when I received an email containing a sneak peek of our family session. I was in love with exactly how she captured us.
So I started chatting with her (yet again) about what a personal session would “do” for me.
And found out I LOVE the way she works. I wanted to share with you all:
The old saying “ the camera doesn’t lie” is very true. I say it almost every day. But when asked how does that saying play into my photography business, and how do I do my “work”, that saying takes on an entirely different meaning.
No, the camera doesn’t lie. When me and Canons are at a shoot ( yes, I talk about my cameras as if they are people), I take a real good look at what they are showing me.
If what I see on the that LCD screen is not something amazing, it is up to me to figure out why. And by why, I don’t mean do I adjust the lighting, or bracket an F stop up or down.
I don’t know too many people that will admit that they love having their picture taken. Even the most stunning super model can feel uncomfortable in front of the lens.
I take the time and feel what my subject is feeling. Maybe the image on the back is showing a nervous female, or a frightened child, or in a lot of cases, an uncomfortable husband. It is then my job to change that and capture it.
I have always felt I have been able to connect well with people. It wasn’t until I started photographing them that I could SEE just how well I could connect with them. I am able to allow them to see themselves in a light and place where their loved ones see them from.
I can’t say that ever have I thought after a shoot “ well, that was a complete waste of my time and I didn’t get one single decent image.”
Instead at the end of a shoot, I feel I accomplished so much more than creating a few wonderful pictures. I feel I created self esteem, self worth and self love in the person who just spent a few hours with me.
And best of all, I created the physical memory and image of that moment for them.
-Linell Grudnitzki, Inphoto
Isn’t she incredible? When she described to me how she works, what she sees, and why she does what she does, I just knew that my soul need to do this!
And as much as this may sound arrogant — I am in love with a HUGE portion of the photos she took that day. I haven’t loved pictures this much, since the photos we had taken in 2008. So that’s saying ALOT!
Lastly I want to share one more incredible little story. It’s in regards to this picture:
I have a confession to make. I have perfected a fake smile. Years of needing to survive within a storm created my opportunity to perfect the fake smile.
I have had many photographers, but Linell was the very first one to call me on it.
This photo was taken when I got tired. I was exhausted from being SO REAL. So I threw out the fake smile.
She dropped her camera to her chest and says “WHAT. IS. THAT?!”
I tried again and again. But kept throwing out the fake. Until I finally dropped my head and took a big breathe and realigned with showing up again. For real.
And I absolutely LOVE that Linell seen right through my fake smile. It validated that she feels her clients and does EXACTLY what she said she does above.
But it also forced me to stay present. As soon as I got tired, I wanted to hide away and do what’s comfortable. She demanded more of me; but in the most loving and safest way.
Love it. And Love her!
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